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The one that grew in your mother s garden. The one that grew after you
swapped the Stubbs cow for the magic beans. The one you chopped down to
destroy that giant& thing.
Oh,that beanstalk.
Yes, that one. Doesn t the whole scenario ring with even the slightest
familiarity to you?
What do you want from me, Kreeper?
Nothing, she replied evenly. I ve just been asked to do a psychiatric
evaluation to see if you are mentally fit enough to continue your duties, and
I think it s important to understand why it is that you are so suited to
nursery crime work.
He stared at her, and she stared back. He took a deep breath and calmed
himself. Something about her manner wasn t right. She had brought her own
selfish agenda to the meeting. This wasn t an evaluation; it was simply a
hurdle in the narrative. And as soon as he realizedthat, he knew he could go
on the attack. He remembered some advice that DCI Horner had given him when he
had passed the NCD reins across to him. Remember, m boy, his old boss had
said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up
straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, I am the new Mrs. de Winter
now! You ll find it works wonders. Jack stared at Kreeper and narrowed his
eyes.
Mrs. de Winter, he murmured.
I m sorry?
Nothing. In answer to your question as to why I m so suited to NCD work:
After many years working among the nursery characters living in Reading, I
have grown to have an affinity with their way of thinking. Call it intuition
if you like, but there it is, and I can t explain it.
Kreeper s face fell at Jack s recovery. She thought she d gotten him.
Nothing else?
Jack felt his heart stop thumping and was suddenly calmer.
Nothing at all. Tell me, what kind of parents named Kreeper give their
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daughter a name like Virginia?
She scratched her chin and looked away.
Virginia Kreeper is a plant, isn t it?
Possibly. But this interview isn t about me, Inspector.
You re wrong. It s aboutus, And since you have to stand in judgment of me, I
think I m entitled to know just what sort of a person I m dealing with and
where you fit into the grand scheme of things. A tall, thin, beaky appearance
with colored-frame spectacles. Pointlessly aggressive, doubtlessly single and
seemingly without a clue as to the proper procedure for a psychiatric
evaluation. From where I m sitting, you look like a poorly realized
stereotype, a one-dimensional character without backstory or future and a name
to match your bearing and position within the bigger picture.
It was Kreeper s turn to be flustered. She ran a hand through her lank hair,
trembled for a moment and then said, I& I& don t know what you mean, I m
sure. A stereotype? Bigger picture? What are you suggesting?
Let s put it this way, said Jack, suddenly feeling a lot more self-assured.
You and I have perhaps more in common than you think. And you sitting behind
that desk questioning my motivations smacks of the very worst kind of
hypocrisy. Essentially, you re nothing but a vehicle for a series of bad
psychiatric jokes and a plot device to stop me from getting to the truth.
Athreshold guardian, whose only purpose in existence is for me to
circumvent which I m doing right now, if you haven t noticed.
Kreeper stared back at him, trying to adopt a bemused air of condescension to
disguise her sudden nervousness.
A one-dimensional threshold guardian? No, no, you re quite wrong. Look,
here! She opened her purse and passed him a picture of a teenager in pigtails
and wearing glasses. It s my niece, she explained. I take her out on her
birthday to all kinds of places. Last year we went to the Natural History
Museum. So you see I m not poorly realized at all I m flesh and blood and
fully in command of my own destiny and having a recollectable past proves I m
not one-dimensional.
She glared at him hotly, but Jack had enough experience of PDRs and
incidental characters to know one when he saw one.
What s her name?
Her& name?
Yes. Your niece has a name, I take it?
Kreeper blinked at him, and tears started to well up in her eyes. I don t
know, she said at last, breaking out in a series of sobs. I just&
don t& know!
Jack felt sorry for her. It can t be easy to have your entire life summed up
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