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e he already understood that?
You still don t want me to meet your friends, he finally said, more accep
tance in his tone than anger. That s why you brought me here... Did you at
least think we d have a good time?
I wanted to, I said honestly.
Luke made a move towards me this time, the toes of his boots stopping less
than a foot from mine. I was, he admitted, voice dropping subtly. Is he
the reason why you couldn t?
It s not like that, I said quickly. I withdrew my hands from my pockets, bu
t avoided touching him just yet. I was having a good time with you. It s jus
t...
Him, Luke said. He glanced away just briefly, as if it would hide the frustr
ation that crossed his features. Is that who you re waiting for me to turn in
to?
What? I wasn t sure what else to say. Too stunned to think of more when he
d just thrown out the biggest thing I never wanted to admit to him. When hi
s expectant gaze didn t relent, I felt myself swallow and tried again. List
en, it s hard to explain... James...
How long were you with him? Luke interrupted.
I sighed. For a while.
How long ago?
What does it matter, Luke? Maybe I had no right to it, but I was feeling i
rritated, too. I didn t want an interrogation. Not now. Not when I wasn t th
inking clearly enough to know if I d been hurt by James again, or if I was j
ust angry with him. Not when I wasn t sure if Luke even had a right to that
question.
How long ago? he repeated, his voice becoming something close to a whispe
r, his blue eyes giving away that regardless of whether he had a right to i
t or not, the answer was important to him.
Realizing this made me not want to tell him. But then at this point, it was the
least I could do.
Not long.
I felt like I d sealed my fate with that bit of honesty. Probably would have
thought it was pretty fucking stupid, too, if I wasn t there to see just ho
w much my revelation bothered him. Maybe it even cost him something. I didn
t understand it, but I understood the look he gave me perfectly. So perfectl
y, that his next words were almost entirely unnecessary as he rocked back an
d forth on his heels.
Um... could you... do you mind getting another ride? I ve gotta... go.
My first thought was that it wouldn t be anything to walk home from where w
e were standing. But that faded just as soon as he turned and I realized he
wasn t waiting for a response. My hand reached out, fingers taking the sle
eve of his coat. Saying nothing, he glanced back at me.
Yeah, I told him. I do mind.
Chapter 4 by DomLuka
A/N: Thanks to Jim for editing!
In the past isn t always in the past
I was encouraged when we reached his apartment, despite the fact that he h
adn t spoken a word to me since we got in his jeep and drove away from the
club. I figured if he really wanted to be rid of me he could have just dr
iven me home and dropped me off. Things grew even more promising when he m
ade no objections as I followed him to his door. He hadn t exactly encoura
ged me, either, but still...
The real test came when he stepped inside and I waited to see if he d simply
close the door on me. He didn t. Just left it open as he walked into his plac
e towards the kitchen as an excited Chey kept close to his heels, waiting for
him to greet her.
I let myself in slowly, closed the door behind myself with equal precaution
. Luke had made his way to the kitchen and was staring into the fridge when
I caught up to him.
Luke?
He looked over his shoulder, his expression unreadable.
I do have a past, I said, just in case that revelation was a shock to him.
He turned back to the refrigerator and I heard him sigh. When he straighten
ed and faced me again, he had beer. When he handed me one I took that as a
good sign. Angry men didn t tend to share their beer. But even as he opened
his, I put mine down on the shelf, needing more than a cold bottle as invi
tation to stick around. When he met my eyes, I watched him from across the
counter, waiting patiently.
My past includes falling for a lot of wrong guys, he finally said, soundin
g almost bored with himself.
I frowned. Luke...
I m not exaggerating, he interrupted. Like, I m the idiot who falls for the
straight guy.
That s one thing you don t have to worry about with me, I assured him. F
all away. I held out my arms as if to catch him. He didn t seem to think I
was very funny so I allowed them to fall back to my sides.
That guy s still my best friend, he informed me, and I felt myself wince
for him as he drank on his beer. And then there s the one who got me arres
ted on my birthday. It wasn t as fun as it sounds, he added, reading my ne
xt reaction. And you... he shook his head, seeming bemused.
I frowned. And me?
You re still hung up on your ex, he informed me accusingly, all the whil
e looking disgusted with himself. Who, by the way, is a jerk. I watched
him remove the phone number James had given him only to watch him roughly
toss it in the wastebasket. I kept to myself how relieved I was when his b
lue eyes snared me again, his hand waving helplessly at the trash. That s
the guy who s been on your mind. His tone was both disbelieving and insu
lted.
I took a breath. Do I get to say something now? I asked cautiously.
With his beer in hand, he rolled his eyes at my question and headed to his
sofa to do that indecisive thing with his remote again, waving Chey away wh
en she sought attention.
That wasn t all entirely accurate, I informed him as I approached the back
of the sofa.
He glanced back at me, clearly begging to differ but not so rude that he d c
ompletely deny hearing me out, so I continued. I do think about him, I adm
itted. But it s not the way you think. I think about... a lot of things, no
t so great things. You saw how he talks to me. Compared to our relationship,
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