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"
Fear-fear-fear-fear
," echoed from the inner part of the building. "
When are you going to sound the warning about me, Minor? Is Stams going to be
the Chosen
One? Bates is on my side, you know
."
"I'm not warning anyone, boy. This is solely between the two of us. A warning
would give it credence and honor which it doesn't deserve. Keep on with your
word games. I enjoy the company."
"Company-company-company-company-"
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To hide his underlying thought of "You've jumped too fast, Minor; this is only
a misguided boy's delusion," he joined in the game with Minc, saying in
unison, "
Company-company-company "
Minc was right again. Bates wouldn't listen to anything that spoke of
imperfection in his prized Clone. And Stams? Stams might flare up in fear and
go too far, even order Minc's destruction.
The last idea shook Minor harder than any of the others. No. The secret had to
remain between the boy and himself. If Minc was to be saved, he had to handle
it alone.
As his eyes lit on Ellis, he was suddenly confident. He could do it. Minc was
just a boy, after all, and he'd never been shown strength on his own PSI
level. No matter how he protested, there were conscience and sense in him, and
Minor only had to find them. He would save Minc for himself, and the Earth for
both of them.
He was the only one who could. "
Only one, only one. Mis-fit Minor, Mis-fit
Minor
."
A week passed with twice-a-day meetings between Minor and his Clone as Stams
pressed Minor to speed up Minc's course of instruction. Minor accepted Stams's
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harrying but did no instructing. Instead, he used the meetings for his own
purposes, persistently trying to break down the boy's stubbornness and touch
his intelligence and emotion. Following any tack that occurred to him, he
fought to drive home the truth of the danger, immorality, and ultimate suicide
that lurked in
Minc's plans. But he made no progress. Not even an inroad. Minc claimed he
didn't care if he died. The way of his dying would make up for it.
With no flicker of success to encourage him, it was hell to be with the boy.
He had prayed for another Total-PSI to share his existence, but he couldn't
share anything with Minc, because Minc wasn't a separate person. Minc was
Minor.
Since they kept to the non-PSI level, they couldn't even converse
satisfactorily, because their thoughts came at exactly the same instant, and
they were forever beginning the same sentence with identical words in
maddening synchronization.
The only way to avoid it was to carefully slow and sort their ideas, or to
deliberately keep to subjects that drew on the differences in their
backgrounds, and Minc refused to cooperate with either of these methods very
often.
So for Minor it was like conversing with his mirror image and watching his own
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futurelove mouth move as the man and the image spoke in unison. Sometimes Minc
even spat out the words first, leaving Minor as a second-rate echo of his own
ideas.
Minc enjoyed watching him stammer and stop, reminding him of his complete
rejection.
At least Minc had put aside his threats for the moment, secure in what he
condemned as Minor's weakness and sure that Minor was no danger to him, but
only a sensitive mind to torment. Minor took comfort from that. No word must
ever leak out about Minc's deadly plans. Any such leak would jeopardize the
boy's life. Stams and the government would assuredly order the Clone's death,
and Minor couldn't endure the picture of a world without Minc in it. Not
again. A
tormentor or not, Minc belonged to him, and he desperately needed to protect
him. Minc might not want him, but Minor had to have Minc.
As the days of failure dragged by, Minor's worry fattened into near panic. It
happened because the boy was wearing him down. He had no chance to sleep or
rest; no time to sustain even his physical strength, since Minc was constantly
inside his brain, taunting and jeering, finally parroting Minor's every
private thought. Even his dreams were duplicated, each picture reproduced one
second after it appeared, making sleep impossible unless the boy was sleeping,
too.
Now he wanted respite from his Clone as much as he'd fretted to be with him
before. But he was cut off from gaining it by the awful premonition that if he
admitted his reasons to anyone, he could be jeopardizing Minc's safety or
worse yet, endangering their sanity and even their lives. If he turned Minc
"on" again without having found the way to turn him "off," Minc might
retaliate against anyone he considered a threat.
His main emotion grew to be a sense of standing completely alone while he
watched the approach of futility. He was too often eighteen again, hiding in a
swarm of people, terrified of being torn apart.
At the end of the week, Stams sent an order to meet him in Bates's office.
When he walked the corridors, the parroting.
Minc was with him, as he had been for a steady thirty-six hours.
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"Where are you going, Minor?"
"You know as well as I do."
"
You know as well as I do
," Minc echoed. "
Where
?"
"
All right
." Minor sighed mentally. "
Dr. Stams wants to see me
."
"Dr. Stams wants to see me."
"And I don't really need you along."
"And I don't really need you along."
"
Cut it
!" Minor chopped the thought in two. "
Would it do me any good to say please
?"
"& any good to say please?"
"
Forget I said it
," Minor told him, reaching out to knock on Bates's door.
"Forget I said it."
A woman's voice called, "Come right on in! There's no need to knock," and when
Minor entered, he realized he'd made the ridiculous mistake of knocking at
Bates's outer office, so he was facing the doctor's receptionist. Embarrassed,
he mumbled, "I must have my head on backwards, or something."
"&
my head on backwards, or something
."
The young woman laughed. "Your mind is just somewhere else, Counselor
Minor. It happens to all of us eventually."
"Somewhere else, indeed!" Minor grunted to himself.
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"
Somewhere else, indeed
!" Minc repeated.
The receptionist was saying, "& so you can go right in. They're waiting for
you."
"They?"
"They?"
"Dr. Bates and Dr. Stams. Weren't you expecting both of them?"
"&
expecting both of them
?"
"Don't start in on what other people say, too!" Minor answered Minc aloud.
The receptionist's head cocked, startled. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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