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me know. You're going to walk a difficult road for a while."
"How do you know that?" I blurted out.
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She looked surprised as she put my candle into a bag. "I just
do," she said."The way you know things. You understand
what I'm talking about"
I didn't say anything. I took my bag and practically flew from
the store, equally fascinated and unnerved.
On Monday morning I went defiantly to the benches where
the Wicca group gathered and sat down, dropping my
backpack at my feet. Beyond looking surprised to see me,
Bree ignored me.
"We missed you Saturday night," Jenna said.
"Bree said you weren't coming anymore," Ethan put in.
There. It was right out in the open. I felt Cat's eyes on me.
"No, I am coming. I want to be a witch," I said clearly. "I think
I'm supposed to be."
Jenna giggled nervously. Cal smiled, and I smiled back at
him, aware of how Bree's jaw tightened.
"That's cool," Ethan said. "Here, push over," he said
toSharon , nudging her thigh with his knee.
With a put-upon sighSharon made room, and Ethan grinned.
I watched them, suddenly recognizing a certain awareness
between them. It blew my mind: Sharon and Ethan? Could
they be interested in each other?
"Uh-oh, an outlander," Matt muttered jokingly, and Raven
smirked.
Tamara walked up.
"Hi," I said, genuinely pleased to see her.
"Hi," Tamara said, looking around at the group. "Hey,
Morgan, did you do all the functions homework last
weekend? I really got stuck on number three."
I thought back. "Yeah, I did it. You want to go over it?"
"That'd be great," she said.
I grabbed my backpack. "No problem. See you all later? I
said to the group, and followed Tamara inside to the school
library. For the next ten minutes we worked on the problem,
me and Tamara, and it was so nice. I felt almost normal.
"I'm glad you're coming to Samhain ,"Cal said.
I looked back to see him following me out of calculus class.
My locker was outside the lunchroom, and I had to switch
books before Wednesday's chem lab.
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I nodded and spun my locker combination. "I've been reading
up on it I'm looking forward to it"
"You think you want to be initiated as a student" he stated.
"You need to think about whether you want to be part of this
new coven." Tiny lines crinkled around his eyes as he smiled
and leaned against the locker next to mine. "I know it's
complicated for you at home."
I let myself look deeply into his eyes. There was a tide there,
and it was pulling me strongly.
"Yes, I want to be a student," I said."Even if you aren't a high
priest. And yes, I want to be in your new coven. I've agonized
over this. My parents are terrified of Wicca. They don't want
me to do it, but I can't let them make this decision for me any
longer. I'm feeling more certain every day."
"Giveyourself a chance to think about it," he advised.
"I hardly think about anything else," I admitted.
He held my eyes and nodded. "See you in physics." He
pushed off and left me there with a tingly, fluttery feeling in my
stomach.
Bree wasn't my friendanymore, and that gave me the space
to ask a simple question I'd been terrified to ask myself.
CouldCal love me the way I loved him? Could we be
together?
"Quick! Quick! Give me the tape!" Mary K. said, waving her
hands. She was up on a ladder in our dining room. My mom
was due home soon, and we were decorating for her
birthday.
"Hang on," I said, twisting the two streamers together.
"Here."
"Dad's picking up Thai food?" Mary K. asked, taping the
streamers in place.
"Yep.And Aunt Eileen is picking up the ice-cream cake."
"Yum."
I stood back. The dining room looked pretty festive.
"What's all this?" my mom asked, standing in the doorway.
Mary K. and I both screamed.
"What are you doing home?" I cried. "We're not ready yet!"
Mary K. waved her hands. "Shoo! Go upstairs! Change! We
need ten more minutes!"
My mom looked around and laughed."You two," she
said,then she went to go change.
Mom's birthday was fun, and nothing went wrong. She
opened her presents, exclaiming over the Celtic-knot pin I
gave her, the CD from Mary K.,the earrings from my dad,
and two books from Eileen.
She wasn't recognizable as the person who had screamed
at me just a few weeks ago. I smiled as she cut her cake,
feeling a sense of doom about what was coming up on
Saturday. But tonight we were all Page 95
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happy.
* * *
On Thursday, I was slumped in a chair in the school library
during study hall, reading the Samhain chapter in one of my
books. Tamara came up and tipped the book back to see its
title.
"Are you still doing this stuff?" she asked softly, friendly
interest in her face.
I nodded. "It's really cool," I said, the words lame and
inadequate. "We've been holding circles every week,
although I haven't been able to getto many."
"What's it all about?" she asked. "What isCal trying to do?"
I hesitated. "He's trying to find people who are interested in
creating a new coven," I said.
Tamara's brown eyes grew wide. "Coven sounds pretty
scary."
"Kind of," I admitted. "But that's just because of ... bad
publicity," I guessed. "It's not scary at all.
His coven will be more like a... study group."
Tamara nodded, not seeming to know what to say.
"Want to go to a movie tomorrow night?" I asked suddenly.
Her face broke into a wide smile. "That would be greatCan I
ask Janice, too?"
"Yeah.Letssee what's playing at the Meadowlark," I
suggested.
"Cool," said Tamara. "See you later.Happy reading."
I grinned, feeling lighthearted as she sat down across the
room.
A moment later, with no warning, Bree dropped into the chair
next to me. I tensed. "Relax," she said. "I just wanted to tell
you that phase one of Bree and Cat is complete. I need a
little more time, and then you can come to circles all you
want."
I stared at her. "What are you talking about?"
"He's given in," she said happily "He's mine. Give me a few
more weeks to solidify it, and this will all be behind us"
"You've got to be kidding," l said, sitting up straighten "This
will never be behind us. Don't you get Page 96
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it? You chose a guy over our friendship. I don't even know
why you're talking to me now." I looked into her beautiful face,
once as familiar as my own.
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