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overnight it to New York.
He could overnight the collected works of Shakespeare
and nothing would change between us.
If you hadn t been electrocuted, you wouldn t have had
your precious relief.
Peg said, By that logic, I should thank Ray.
The Girlfriend Curse 233
Maybe you should.
I ll put it on my list.
My fingers are tired, said Tracy. She stopped massaging
Peg s back and shook out her hands.
If you ever want to give up on the Red Sox, you could
have a real future at Madame Quong s massage parlor on
Mott Street, said Peg, sitting up, noticing suddenly that the
Federal was awful quiet. Where is everyone? she asked.
How about a game of cards? replied Tracy, reaching for
the deck on the night table.
I hit my gin limit after ten rounds, said Peg, squinting sus-
piciously at her friend. What s going on? You re keeping
something from me.
How about TV? said Tracy. Or we could go online.
Peg and Tracy snickered together at those absurd sugges-
tions. Television was impossible. The Federal got terrible re-
ception. Only one channel, a local NBC station, was watchable,
but even that was as fuzzy as an angora sweater. Internet surf-
ing was more like drowning. Linus s ancient IBM with the dial-
up modem took forever to start up, and an eternity to load.
This part of Vermont didn t have an electronic superhighway.
It had a single lane dirt road.
Can t we get out of here? Find the others? asked Peg.
You are just dying to see Linus, aren t you? said Tracy.
Don t look so surprised. I have eyes. My eyes can see. You
clung to him at the hospital yesterday like a leech. You didn t
need that much support, Peg. Dr. Andy said you were in per-
fect physical condition.
I wanted the support of the man I . . . so profoundly re-
spect and admire.
Two week ago, you profoundly respected and admired
Ray.
That was a knee-jerk reflex. He was just like all the other
jerks I once thought I needed, said Peg.
But why Linus? asked Tracy. I ll grant you, he is tall. I
234 Valerie Frankel
was the first among us to notice his crunchy cuteness. He s
smart. He s got this house.
He s the mayor. He s wise. He s funny. He s got a surpris-
ingly muscular chest. He s a runner. He went to Harvard. He
gave her a spine-adjusting orgasms in five seconds flat. In his
sleep.
Tracy countered, He lives with another woman. He des-
perately needs a haircut. He lives with another woman. He s
eight years older than you. Have I mentioned that he lives with
another woman? And his clothes? Tracy crinkled her nose in
disgust. How do you know he has a muscular chest? she
asked as an afterthought.
Who gives a shit about clothes? said Peg. I can t believe
I just said that.
It must be love, said Tracy.
He may live with another woman, but not for long. Linus
and Wilma broke up. The night of the fair. She s moving out
when the session is over.
I don t believe it, said Tracy. Linus and Wilma have been
disgustingly cozy all week. Holding hands, their arms around
each other.
Peg had noticed the increase in affection since their
breakup, too. Seller s remorse on Wilma s part? If Wilma is
leaving Manshire in a week, considering how Type A she is,
I ll bet she s already started to pack. We could poke around
their room.
Tracy squinted at her. Snooping is vile and low. It s like
peeping. It s sick.
It s not sick. It s healthy, defended Peg. Healthy curiosity.
It s unethical, announced Tracy.
Said the woman who mixes a mean Xanax cocktail.
Tracy let a sly grin creep up her cheeks. Well, we are
alone.
Within thirty seconds, they were down the stairs and in
front of Linus and Wilma s bedroom door.
The Girlfriend Curse 235
Open it, said Peg.
You open it, said Tracy.
Peg grasped the handle, and pushed the door inward. The
room was neat, orderly, undisturbed by the ravages of pack-
ing. Wilma s clothes hung in the closet. Assuming Linus didn t
wear Jockey For Her white bikini briefs, Wilma s intimates
dresser drawer was full. Pop psyche books were stacked high
on her night table A Case Against Monogamy; The Ten Rules of
Romance; The Good Girl, Bad Boy Syndrome. The books were
marked up, pages dog-eared, paragraphs circled in red.
They don t have much stuff, said Tracy. Adhering to the
Vermont belief that clutter is evil.
Let s turn on the computer, said Peg.
You ll leave a record of when files were last opened,
warned Tracy.
Peg sighed in disappointment. Snooping has never been
less satisfying.
Imagine if someone went through my drawers, said
Tracy.
And found your purple plastic penis, said Peg.
Now, that would be satisfying.
They left the bedroom. Went to the living room. Flopped on
the couch. Maybe Wilma wasn t moving out. Was it possible that
Linus lied about their breakup? Peg wouldn t have told Linus
she was falling for him in any state of electrocution had she
not thought he was soon-to-be available. She considered a pre-
vious fear: Had he really been paying her special attention
asking her to go running, telling her she was irresistible,
confiding to her about his alleged breakup or was this his
method of forcing Peg to venture deeper into Inward Bound?
The contentment of an hour ago was quickly replaced with
a more familiar miasma of doubt and confusion. How could
she have told Linus she was falling in love with him? Thank
God she d said falling. She could always reel it back in,
blame her blurt on the shock. Blame it on him.
236 Valerie Frankel
Peg said to Tracy, Linus was weird at the hospital.
Maybe it was something you said.
Peg jumped to her feet. I m going for a run. A long, vis-
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