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should have known better than to come." She darted for the couch, where a
creamy cashmere coat had been tossed casually.
Luke's voice came out cool and distant. No surprise. He was slipping away even
as he spoke, sliding down that cold, empty hole inside him. "You're too upset to
drive. Especially when the roads are getting bad."
"I'm not staying," she spat, shrugging into her coat. "You can't make me stay."
"I'm not letting you drive on slick roads in this condition." He turned, started
for the door. "I'll get one of the hands to take you in the pickup. It has four-wheel
drive. Maggie "
"Don't worry. I've got her keys."
He glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, Maggie had appropriated her
cousin's key ring, and Pamela was trying to snatch it back. With dim surprise, he
felt his lips curve in a small smile. "Just what I was about to suggest."
He left to arrange for a driver for his ex-wife. When he came back, Maggie had
her arm around Pamela and the two of them were speaking in low voices. "I'm
sorry," he heard Pamela say. "I didn't mean to make a scene. I just & when I see
him, it all comes back."
He understood what she meant only too well. "Tony's bringing the pickup
around front. I'll get your car back to you tomorrow."
Pamela's gaze lifted to Luke, then flitted away. "I'm perfectly capable of driving
myself."
"Maybe," Maggie said soothingly. "But I'd worry. Come on, now." She began
steering them both for the front door. "Look on the bright side. This way you'll
have someone to flirt with. Tony's cute."
Luke turned his back on the two women, tuning out their conversation.
Instinctively he moved toward the fireplace, where a few desultory flames licked
the logs someone had stacked haphazardly.
Maggie, probably. She enjoyed fires, but didn't have the knack of building them.
He picked up a poker and drew the mesh screen aside, hoping to stir up more of a
blaze. He shifted the top log, sending up a small shower of sparks.
God, he was cold.
"She's gone." Maggie sighed deeply. "Thank heavens. That was pretty awful."
"It wasn't fun." Heat from the fire touched the skin of the hand holding the
poker, but went no further.
"Before Pamela called and said she was on her way here, I intended to fight
with you."
A tiny lick of warmth curled his mouth up on one side. "You did, huh?"
Carefully he put the poker back. "What were we going to fight about?"
"I hadn't decided."
At last he turned to face her. Her sweatshirt was big and loose and very purple.
The daffodil-colored leggings fit like panty hose, curving intimately over her
round, lovely bottom. All at once, his pulse leaped higher than the fire. He drew a
ragged breath.
He knew how to banish the cold. Not permanently, but there was one sure way
to drive it back to its hiding place, deep inside where he could mostly ignore it.
She tipped her head to one side consideringly. "You've got that look in your
eyes."
No, dammit. He was not going to use Maggie for a quick fix. He ignored her
comment. "Where's Sarita? It's lunchtime."
"I sent her home."
Worse than the physical hunger was another yearning, quieter than lust and a
hell of a lot scarier. He turned away. "I guess I can rustle up a sandwich on my
own. Why did you send Sarita home? Is she sick?"
"No, but the weather's getting bad, and & darn it. I promised myself I wouldn't
do this avoid the subject, I mean." She took a deep breath. "I sent her home so
we could clear the air."
"I'm not interested in fighting right now. Sorry." He'd nearly made it to the
doorway, and was starting to breathe easier.
"Pamela's wrong. It wasn't your fault."
She'd stopped him cold. "Don't push this, Maggie."
"She wants to blame you so she won't have to blame herself. But she's the one
who did it, Luke. She swallowed those pills."
He spun around and lashed out with his hand, smashing a lamp to the floor.
Maggie jumped. "You think I don't know that? God." A howl rose up inside, silent
and deadly. He had to move, had to grabbing for control, he started to pace. "I
ignored her, ran around on her and she tried to kill herself. And killed our baby
instead."
In the hush that fell he felt the silent howling rise, the frantic, empty burn of
guilt. He stopped moving.
Maggie broke that silence. "I never believed that she really meant to kill herself.
She didn't take enough pills. The doctor said her life was never in danger. It was a
grab for attention, for sympathy, and probably a last-ditch effort to control you.
You hurt her, yes, but she wasn't in love with you. She just couldn't stand to lose."
"So she was hurt and hysterical instead of in love and suicidal. What difference
does it make?" His baby had died. Because of him. That was the truth, the only
truth that mattered. "I didn't care about her. She was right about that. I married
her because "
"Because she was pregnant with your child," Maggie said quietly. "And you
wanted your baby."
"She said she would deny I was the father if I didn't. I& " He ran a hand over his
hair. "It was a hell of a basis for a marriage. Toward the end, I couldn't stand to be
around her."
"I didn't like being around her myself back then."
Maggie came closer. "And she didn't trick me into marriage."
He looked at her sharply. "You knew about that?"
"Oh, yes." Her eyes were so sad and gentle. And warm. "She bragged about it
when you were dating. Told me she'd tossed out her birth control pills. She also
claimed you were crazy about her, that you only needed a little nudge. I think she
convinced herself it was true. That's how she justified what she did."
"I was hot for her, all right." His laugh was bitter. "But when I found out she'd
lied about being on the Pill& " His throat tightened. "I didn't want her anymore,
but I wanted my baby."
"I know," she whispered. "I know you did."
"Pamela was a hysterical child in a woman's body. I knew that. God, who
better? I grew up with just the sort of over-the-top emotional scenes she liked to
treat me to. If I'd stayed with her that night& I should have guessed what she was
capable of." Everything inside him seemed to be pulsing, like the ticking of a huge
bomb.
Tentatively she put her hand on his arm. "You're not to blame for your baby's
death, Luke."
His muscles went rigid. "You don't want to touch me now. I'm not safe."
"You won't hurt me." She sounded flat-out certain. Her hand was small and
steady and warm. So warm. He was shaking deep inside, and he needed that
warmth badly. He made himself move slowly, but he couldn't stop himself from
reaching for her, gripping her arms. "I won't hit you. But I will hurt you. Do you
understand what I'm saying? If you don't get away from me right now, I will
definitely hurt you, Maggie."
She didn't answer. Not in words. She just slid her arms around his waist and
put her sweet, warm body up against his and held him.
He shuddered once. And snapped.
One moment Maggie was holding Luke, aching for him, trying to press
forgiveness inside him with her own body. The next, he was devouring her.
His mouth was hot and hard. Ruthless. He forced hers open and plunged inside.
Need. Had she ever felt such need before? Luke needed her. Desperately. A [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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