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around. I just wasn't easy with Edward at my back right that moment.
"Richard, are you all right?"
"No." His voice sounded deeper, hoarse.
"Can I come in?"
There was a long pause, then, "Maybe you better."
I pushed the door open carefully, didn't want to smack him with it. He was still kneeling over the toilet,
head down, long hair hiding his face. He had a bunch of toilet paper crumbled in one hand. The sharp,
sweet smell of vomit hung in the air.
I closed the door and leaned against it. "Can I help?"
He shook his head.
I smoothed his hair back on one side. He jerked away from me as if I'd burned him. He ended up
huddled in the corner, trapped between the wall and the bathtub. The look on his face was wild,
panicked.
I knelt in front of him.
"Don't touch me, please!"
"Okay, I won't touch you. Now what's wrong?"
He wouldn't look at me. His eyes wandered the room, not settling on anything, but definitely avoiding
me.
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"Talk to me, Richard."
"I can't believe Marcus knows. He can't know. He wouldn't allow it."
"Could Raina do it without his knowing?"
He nodded. "She's a real bitch."
"I noticed."
"I have to tell Marcus. He won't believe it. He might need to see the film." His words were almost
normal, but his voice was still breathy, thin, panicked. If he kept this up, he was going to hyperventilate.
"Take a slow, deep breath, Richard. It's all right."
He shook his head. "But it isn't. I thought you'd seen us at our worst." He gave a loud, spitting laugh.
"Oh, God, now you really have."
I reached for him, to comfort, to do something. "Don't touch me!" He screamed it at me. I backed up
and ended sitting with my back pressed against the far wall. It was as far away as I could get without
leaving the room.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I want you, right now, here, after seeing that."
"It excited you?" I made it a question.
"God help me," he said.
"Is that what sex means to you, not the killing but before?"
"It can, but it isn't safe. In animal form we're contagious. You know that."
"But it's a temptation," I said.
"Yes." He crawled towards me, and I felt myself recoil. He sat back on his knees and just looked at me.
"I am not just a man, Anita. I am what I am. I don't ask you to literally embrace the other half, but you
have to look at it. You have to know what it is or it's not going to work between us." He studied my face.
"Or have you changed your mind?"
I didn't know what to say. His eyes didn't look wild anymore. They had gone dark and deep. There was
a heat to his gaze, to his face, that had nothing to do with horror. He rose on all fours, the movement was
enough to bring him close to me. I stared at his face from inches away. He gave a long, shuddering sigh,
and energy prickled along my skin. I was left gasping. His otherness beat against my skin like a crashing
wave. The wash of it pressed me against the wall like an invisible hand.
He leaned into me, lips almost touching, then moved past. His breath was hot against the side of my
face. "Think how it could be. Making love like this, feeling the power crawl over your skin while I was
inside you."
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I wanted to touch him, and I was afraid to touch him. He drew back enough to look me in the face,
close enough to kiss. "It would be so good." His lips brushed mine. He whispered the next words into my
mouth like a secret. "And all this lust comes from me seeing blood and death and imagining her fear."
He was standing, as if someone had pulled him upright with strings. It was magically quick. It made
Alfred last night look slow. "This is what I am, Anita. I can pretend to be human. I'm better at it than
Marcus, but it's just a game."
"No." But my voice was just a whisper.
He swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. "I've got to go." He offered me his hand. I realized he
couldn't open the door with me sitting there, not without banging me with it.
I knew if I refused his hand that that would be it. He would never ask again, and I would never say yes.
I took his hand. He let out a long breath. His skin was hot to the touch, almost burning hot. His skin sent
little shock waves through my arm. Touching him with all his power loose in the room was too amazing
for words.
He raised my hand to his mouth. He didn't so much kiss my hand as nuzzle it, rub it along his cheek,
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